Nickelback Blows

There are two statements that I cannot stomach on the topic of musical taste: “I love everything I hear” and “I love Nickelback.” The first sentiment is not particularly alarming, as it simply translates to “I don’t care enough about music to develop an opinion about it. Ask me about anime instead.” The latter, however, makes my ears bleed. But rest assured, the doctor is in town – Dr. Dre, that is – and he may have the cure for the Nickelbonic plague....

The most predictable band of Generation Y is Nickelback. I will not criticize the group for initially infusing the sound of their grunge forerunners with pop sentiment; however, I find it ridiculous that since their 1999 major label debut, their greatest influence has been themselves. For instance, 2001’s “How You Remind Me” and 2003’s “Someday” are nearly identical billboard-chart topping singles, as heard in the video below. The recording, which slightly speeds the tempo of “Someday,” highlights the two songs’ undeniable similarities in chord progression, song structure, and vocal style. Usually, the first single of an album is the catchiest song that best represents the album. The fact that the first two singles of these “different” albums are identical proves that Nickelback has failed to evolve.



I accept that most bands will never go through the musical evolution that Radiohead experienced between their 1995 album, “The Bends,” and 1997’s “OK Computer.” And I don’t care that Nickelback may never evolve - what frightens me is that popular opinion can be described as “Nickelbackian.” Just as Nickelback experienced zero growth in two years (and even two years later, as exemplified by their latest album), the public’s taste in music failed to grow as well; the masses essentially bought the same single twice. “Someday” is a repackaged (different tempo, lyrics, and melody) version of “How You Remind Me.” Nickelback changes the title, and we are ensnared in Chad Kroeger’s golden locks of doom once again.

The Nickelbackian complex is not just pertinent to its namesake – it currently exists within in all subdivisions of popular music. Once Soulja Boy’s “Crank That” left the top of the charts, T-Pain’s “Low,” took over. Although these tracks cannot be overlapped exactly (a la “How You Remind Me of Somebody”), the songs are similar enough to assert that the public had yet again purchased a repackaged single. The dominance of such generic music is not unlike the glam metal surge of the late 1980’s. Bands like Cinderella, RATT, and Quiet Riot cluttered the radio stations until Nirvana shifted the paradigm of popular music towards grunge. When a musical trend begins, artists build themselves around this popular style until they reach a dead end, or rather, a point in which everything sounds the same. This is why glam metal, grunge, and nu-metal have, respectively, all become extinct. The 00’s is finally reaching the point when the dominant style of music is about to crash. All we need now is a mover, someone to finally transition us out of this Nickelbackian era. And that mover could be none other than Dr. Dre.

Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic” defined what rap would sound like during the early 90’s, while his album “2001” defined the direction of rap for the new millennium. The doctor’s aptly named forthcoming album, “Detox,” may finally purge popular music (at least for hip-hop) and send it in an entirely different direction. I may be placing too much hope in the good doctor, but it only takes one “mover” to turn the wheel of music. We are repeatedly buying the same repackaged singles over and over again, a clear sign that the Nickelbackian era has reached its peak. Rap has a savior. Now is the time for rock to change. Reveal yourself, unnamed and innovative indie band – here’s your chance to overthrow Nickelback.